Last Week of Long Term Care

I can't believe this is our last week in long term care. What a shock. I can remember the first day and how nervous I was to even shadow the CNA on my wing. I remember how I felt the first time I assisted with pericare and cleaning up an incontinent patient after a BM. I remember how anxious I felt when doing my first chemstick. Now, after just 6 days in our LTC rotation, I am so much more at ease. I still don't feel 100% with everything but I know that practice and experience will make it much easier to get used to and feel more confident with. Good luck to all of you in our last week!

Ethics and Morals in Nursing Care

Today in our health assessment class, we discussed the ethics and morals of standard nursing care and how we need to care for our patients in regards to them. Several times throughout the lecture, I felt my eyes welling up with tears as I could relate to some of the topics we were discussing. One of the major issues discussed was suicide as well as physician assisted suicide. A classmate brought up the question of whether or not someone should go to heaven or hell if they chose to end their own life. This hit close to home as my own grandmother committed suicide.

When my mom was 16 years old, my grandma decided to take her own life, privately and shockingly. She had recently been put on numerous anti-depressant medications that my grandpa would later find out, were wrongly prescribed and were not doing their job. She began to feel very inadequate as both a mother and a wife, and in her mind, thought she was doing the best thing to end her life. No one in her family saw it coming, as well as her friends. She was active in her church, which brings up another controversial issue. As part of the catholic church, my grandma's beliefs included the following regarding suicide:

• "Everyone is responsible for his life before God who has given it to him. It is God who remains the sovereign Master of life. We are obliged to accept life gratefully and preserve it for his honor and the salvation of our souls. We are stewards, not owners, of the life God has entrusted to us. It is not ours to dispose of."
• "Suicide contradicts the natural inclination of the human being to preserve and perpetuate his life. It is gravely contrary to the just love of self. It likewise offends love of neighbor because it unjustly breaks the ties of solidarity with family, nation, and other human societies to which we continue to have obligations. Suicide is contrary to love for the living God."
• "If suicide is committed with the intention of setting an example, especially to the young, it also takes on the gravity of scandal."
• "Voluntary co-operation in suicide is contrary to the moral law."
• "Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide."
• "We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives.
• By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance.
• The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives."

After everything my grandma had done for her church, they offered no support to her family after her death and refused to take any part in her funeral arrangements because of they way she had died. I believe this is why my mom and uncle may have steered away from church in general.

Despite everything, I do not agree with the generalization that people who take their own life will go to hell. There are many instances in my own beliefs where I think people are hurt and confused and do not know any better. Suicide is never something that anyone is happy about doing or thinks about to hurt someone else. It's often a quick and rash decision that is indicative of that person's chronic pain, often emotionally. My grandma overdosed on oral pills and it was believed that she may have taken the pills at one time, and then regretted her action soon after, but she was too secluded to get help or do anything about it.

There are so many different circumstances and reasons for why people choose to do things. I think it is important for us as Christian Nurses to remember this and not stereotype people or generalize situations. Also remember that your beliefs are not the same as someone else's and if you do believe that someone who commits suicide will inevitably go to hell, be cautious of how and where you say that. Someone else may be listening who will take great offense to that.

Thankful

While sitting at home with my roommate, I realized just how thankful I am for our group, Buntain School of Nursing 2010. I think I sometimes get distracted and forget how amazing our class is. My roommate, who goes to the UW, was telling me about some of her classes and professors. One professor frequently swears at them, using the "F" word and "fag" all throughout their class. To me, I cannot believe this is even allowed, or legal for that matter. It was funny comparing our professors, hers who swear at them and ours who pray for us. Not only am I thankful for my professors, but for my classmates as well. I think our cohort is very unique in how close and supportive we are of eachother. I think this is so cool, and I think it is something we should strive to maintain. No cliques or judgments, as well as no competition; this group is amazing. And rare. I love that I feel comfortable going up to any classmate of ours to talk to. Every single one of us was brought here through different circumstances and paths, yet we are all in the same place right now, and for the next 2 years, our paths will coincide with one another. It's important to remember that none of us are in this alone, we're all going through the same thing together, and we're all here in support of each and every person in our class.

Clinical Rotation 1

Anxious. Sad. Scared. Nervous. Uncomfortable.
Those were my first thoughts and feelings that arose this week at the start of our first rotation, long term care. I don't know whether it was because I was expecting something completely different, or because I do not have a lot of experience; but regardless, it was very hard for me. This might not be how anyone else is feeling, but straight from the heart, this is what has really been bothering me. I can understand the few patients that I have seen there who are A&O and I can understand why they are there, but the majority of the patients I've been working with are confined to their beds, cannot communicate with you, and seem like they are in excrutiating pain. If I was in their shoes, I wouldn't want to be alive still. I understand this is heavy stuff and that I'm going out on a limb here by voicing my opinion in this situation, but I just don't get what the point is of living when you cannot remember who you are, what you are doing, and to live in total pain everyday. To me, there's just no point.